Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
#wank #woody #pr0n #self #joke
بواسطة mandingoe نوفمبر/تشرين الثّاني 7, 2005
Top Definition
The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.

jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
No honey, I don't want to tonight, I'm tired from watching Oprah. Why don't you just go masturbate?

That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.

Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
بواسطة jeffro فبراير/شباط 25, 2003
Mass murder of millions of tiny defenseless sperm.
If hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
#jerking #masturbating #stroking #choking #rubbing
بواسطة Michael............... مارس/آذَار 23, 2006
The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.
Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!
بواسطة Nick نوفمبر/تشرين الثّاني 10, 2002
"Practise sex"
If masturbation were a sport, I'd be a jock.
بواسطة LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD مارس/آذَار 16, 2003
Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.

It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
بواسطة fetusboy سبتمبر/أيلول 16, 2005
something guys cannot get out of habbit.
Time for my daily jerk!
بواسطة I have have seen the promise land إبريل/نَيْسان 14, 2003
Playing solo on one's organs.
بواسطة Anonymous مارس/آذَار 9, 2003
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