A wank that takes your mind off a disaster that has just occured, allowing you to have a clear mind to think of a solution.
1) I rolled my car last night. Hit two pedestrians and a dog.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.
بواسطة Harold Bishop's Love Child مارس 2, 2010
A wank that goes terribly wrong and usually results in a big stealthy clean up.

Often caused by Backfire, a lack of tissues, an unexpectedly early ending or a surprise intruder.

The worst type of contaminated spillage.
Mike's friend: How come you were so late to first class?

Mike: Oh man, had a Disasterwank and it needed tending to. Looked like a war zone!

Mike's friend: ah hard lines man, not had a Disasterwank in years!
بواسطة carbo-fuckin-nara اكتوبر 10, 2014

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