on the john
for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their
fecal matter. The cause
is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause
may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from
1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over
27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard
deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does
vary between species
(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have
a case of Faux Defecation