Everyone knows whales have huge penises, they even make the sea salty with all their semen. A slippery sleeping bag is the act of climbing into a whale's penis, cause you'd totally fit.
"So I saw that Bear Grylls
where he slept in a dead camel, apparently the desert is cold at night. Weird I know. So anyway, I figured it might work the same with a whale's penis, but I was all wet so I was still cold.
Still though, I'm gonna copyright it, so Bear Grylls can't talk about the Slippery Sleeping Bag without paying out.
The practice of masturbation following a night of heavy drinking. Usually arises due to the intense boredom experienced when a hangover incapacitates you from doing anything but watching daytime TV and general moping about. Minimal satisfaction is to be expected, but it beats watching Home and Away.
Jesus man, last night was crazy, I got up at like two, watched some Maury then stared at a bowl of cereal for like twenty minutes. I had a wankover, but I was still drunk so it was like choking a dead chicken.
Man I was pretty hungover yesterday, I had like four aspirin but I still felt like crap. I had a wankover which helped, but then I feel asleep on the toilet.