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21 definitions by Tacoma Beags

 
1.
(n) an elongated and obscure period of time spent distracted on Facebook when the original intent was to merely check your messages.
Dude, where’s Mark?

Oh, he just ran inside to check his messages really quick. He’ll back in a Facebook minute.

Fuck, we’re never gonna eat now.
بواسطة Tacoma Beags يونيو 30, 2011
8265 2258
 
2.
The ability to poop in the amount of time it would normally take you to piss, so as not to alert guests or hosts as to what you’re truly doing. Making the Piss Window is most critical when dining out with friends, entertaining guests in your home, or visiting the home of another. Failure to make the Piss Window will usually result in bouts of awkwardness as you exit the bathroom, because everyone will know….you just took a shit.
Joe: Dude, 2 minutes and 14 seconds...you just barely made the Piss Window.

Sam: Tell me about it. It'd be pretty embarrassing if Julie found out I took a shit on our first date.

Joe: Too late, I just told her.
بواسطة Tacoma Beags يناير 26, 2013
6357 2558
 
3.
The abrupt and awkward pause in conversation when one person realizes the other has silently farted.
So Stephen, as you know corporate has asked that we begin using cover sheets on our fax reports…so, uh…um….cover sheets on theeee uhhhhh….hmmmm...

Dude, did you fart?

Dammit....dangling farticiple.
بواسطة Tacoma Beags ابريل 14, 2011
35 2
 
4.
When a man attempts to initiate vaginal, doggie-style sex but his penis slips upward into the woman’s butt crack and/or anus, (colon). See also Belgium Misfire.
Dude, why is Sandy walking so funny? Oh man, last night I tried to hit that shit from behind and totally busted a colonial slip right up her ass.
بواسطة Tacoma Beags ابريل 14, 2011
41 13
 
5.
The acceptable weight at which a man is willing to have intercourse with a woman, plus one ton.
Whew man, take a look at Samantha—she is really packing in on. Yah bro, she’s about a fuck ton too many for me.
بواسطة Tacoma Beags ابريل 14, 2011
52 25
 
6.
Khaki pants that have been slightly soiled after standing too close to a urinal or bathroom sink.
Nice Jim, I see you're rocking the spatter khak's today. Also, it smells like you may have had too much asparagus for dinner last night.
بواسطة Tacoma Beags فبراير 28, 2011
30 5
 
7.
To lay on one's arm so as to deny the passage of blood and ultimately loose feeling in the limb, followed by the act of inserting said limb into the anus; see also “The Stranger,” or “The Stranger’s Punch.”
My ass hurts something fierce from The Stranger's Pinch I totally gave myself last night.
بواسطة Tacoma Beags فبراير 8, 2011
34 9