10 definitions by Snark Chariot

The act of working oneself into a tizzy over impending severe weather, as by a meteorologist.
The weatherman was exhausted after a weekend of intense forecasturbation.
بواسطة Snark Chariot يناير 20, 2011
(v) enjoying oneself immensely, but in a calm, cool way; succeeding at life; indulging in the spoils of victory.
Q: "Hey, man — how you doing?"
A: "I'm spoilin' like a mofo, bro."

Surrounded by gorgeous women, with a Chateaubriand on his plate and a 15-year-old Scotch in his glass, the impeccably dressed, tanned and well-rested man was spoiling.
بواسطة Snark Chariot مارس 7, 2013
(n.) a person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about masturbation, and invests in only the finest lubes and/or sex toys in order to achieve the highest levels of independent sexual gratification.
You may like to stroke it, good sir, but I am a masturbaficionado — I take such things seriously.
بواسطة Snark Chariot سبتمبر 18, 2014
(noun) The state of needing to urinate as much and as often as you drink, with an immediacy that seems to increase with every sip; generally associated with binge-drinking over a long period of time. See also: Breaking the Seal.
After six Red Hooks, three double Jamesons, an unfortunate shot of Patron and a fru-fru drink I finished while my date was in the bathroom, I have at last achieved peequilibrium. Please escort me to the nearest hospital or detox center, thank you.
بواسطة Snark Chariot سبتمبر 12, 2012
(n) a complex medical procedure involving the removal of one's head from one's ass.
My good friend is having a craniosphinctalectomy today. I hope everything comes out well.
بواسطة Snark Chariot مارس 20, 2014
(n) an activity (or series of activities) intended to stimulate the penis until it is erect, generally for the purpose of sexual intercourse. An underfunded dickstarter campaign may lead to a condition known as blueballs.
It wasn't long before my partner's dickstarter campaign was fully funded and we got down to executing our business plan.
بواسطة Snark Chariot نوفمبر 17, 2014
(n.) 1. A complex non-procedure in which a wife withholds sex from her husband after the couple decided to stop having children, thus negating the need for the husband to get an actual vasectomy. 2. The most effective form of birth control ever conceived by (wo)man.
Q: Hey, man, did you get snipped?
A: Nah, my wife gave me a Catholic vasectomy instead.
بواسطة Snark Chariot سبتمبر 13, 2014

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